My Thoughts On the UFC Fight Night 80 Main Card
Here are my thoughts on the UFC Fight Night 80 Main Card:
Rose Namajunas def. Paige VanZant via submission (rear-naked choke) at 2:25 of Round 5
Rose destroyed my girl Paige VanZant and left her a little less pretty. It was a great showing by Namajunas but that won’t stop me from Googling Paige VanZant wardrobe malfunction every few days to see if I get lucky. Paige needs to work on her wrestling…I mean, not too much because I can get jealous of her rolling around on the ground with sweaty guys.
Michael Chiesa def. Jim Miller via submission (rear-naked choke) at 2:57 of Round 2
This one could have gone either way and I was kind of hoping for Jim Miller to secure the crucifix on a guy that looks like Jesus. That would have been kind of funny but not really funny at the same time. This was Chiesa’s biggest victory of his career but walking on water was his biggest victory in life.
Sage Northcutt def. Cody Pfister via submission (guillotine choke) at :41 of Round 2
Was there any doubt that Sage Northcutt would win? Pfister took Super Sage down early but you could tell that was part of Northcutt’s plan. Let’s face it, if you punch Sage it was because he let you, if you take him down it was because he let you, if the referee stands you up controversially… it is because the world is rooting for Sage Northcutt. I am glad Sage came out looking as pretty as he went in. Like I do with Paige, I am still going to Google Sage Northcutt wardrobe malfunction and hope I get lucky. Although, if there is a malfunction it is because Sage let it happen. When Sage falls into water, he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Sage Northcutt.
Thiago Santos def. Elias Theodorou via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-27, 29-27)
Everybody hates a decision so I am not going to give my thoughts on this one. I do not think anybody really cares anyway.